


Realized

by Willow



Category: Smallville
Genre: M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-05-09
Updated: 2003-05-09
Packaged: 2017-10-02 07:42:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Willow/pseuds/Willow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clark has an epiphany.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Realized

**Author's Note:**

> Original Notes: Seriously man. This was the first homework. I think the essay (meta) might have been extra credit that I made into a term paper. Anyway - I snarked about something and LaT said I should be the one to write the fic. Now note, I've problems getting into Clark's head. Which is why my Smallville Thought is still sitting on the proverbial shelf.
> 
> But as this is _homework_ it doesn't really matter how much it sucks - just that I got it done.  
> So...uhmm here it is. And it's got no bloody name. But hey, for the sake of the snark let's call it Realized: Clex - Spoilers for Accelerate

Clark wakes up wet. Shirt, pajama bottoms, his sheet stuck to his body and along the bed. He rubs his hands over his face and leans against the headboard trying to remember how to breathe.

The dream comes in flickers. Water, cool and grey, light on stones, flesh caught and floating. He's had it off and on for almost a year or so now. But this time...Clark strains to remember what was different and the body has long brown hair, the soft lips taste faintly of bubble gum and tears.

Drowning.

Lana, drowning.

He glances down at the damp sheet and wonders how he's managed to soak everything as if he's sweating buckets. Outside is cool, there's moisture coming in through the open window. Clark stares at the curtain a minute and then down at the floor.

Rain.

It rained and he'd left his window open and that's how the bed got wet. How he got wet. His shoulders shake with a tremor of relief. He really can't deal with some new weirdness right now. Not when things are so confused.

_Smooth pale skin, lips slender, a mouth of rich almost cocoa coffee and the smell of leather._

Clark rubs at his face again.

Lex.

Lex, drowning.

The fear hits him them, curling in his belly like cold fire, forcing out tears and sobs until he has to hide his face in a pillow and hope he cries like a human, soft and quiet and hidden in cloth.

The rain starts again, quietly, drifting into mist on the floor as Clark struggles to control the dark thing that pulls at him when he wakes up from the dream. He swallows hard, reveling in the pain of a constricted throat and picks up the phone to dial a familiar number. The voice mail automatically states the date, and behind it comes Lex's voice throwing out information for his secretary.

Lex; alive and as vibrant as ever, leaving detailed notes in memos on his phone.

Clark's never felt guilty about sneaking a peak through leather and paper to see the code in ink on Lex's assistant's desk. All it'd taken was being over there late one night and hearing Lex dictate the next day's needs, for him to realize he'd never have to wake up wondering again. Never have to risk sneaking out of the house and streaking over to the mansion to see if there really were lights in that bedroom on the far east wing. Never have to use his x-ray sight to see a familiar shape pacing or sleeping or reading and see the steady heartbeat that meant the dream was only a nightmare.

Lex was alive and vibrant and embroiled in business, moving forward past the accident and the dark moment when his lungs had been full of water and his body unresponsive.

Clark exhales and puts down the phone.

He can sleep now. He gets up and closes the window. Staring out for a moment at the streaking of water against the glass.

_Tears, salty and still stuck to her skin and lips, dark brown hair, Lana against a rock in the river, looking up at him gratefully. _

Alive.

Alive and worried that he saw her as less than perfect because she'd had to be rescued yet again. Worried that he'd figure out that since she hadn't hit her head, that she'd let herself sink, wanting to atone for something that wasn't her fault.

But he wasn't going to push. Everyone had their secrets. He knew. He let Lana keep hers.

Clark turns and goes back to bed, letting his eyes coast over the cotton until it steams and warms and he can strip out of his wet clothes and into dry sheets.

_Warm, bubble gum flavour, the smell of strawberry shampoo and the soft feel of breasts against his chest and hair in his hands._

He's kissed Lana. He knows what her lips feel like, cool from river water, and warm from blood. It's easier to replace the memory of one sensation for the other.

Clark touches his lips and thinks of Lex, warm and alive and dictating.

His mind flashes on cool water and the blue-silver of twisted steel.

His eyes close as he keeps trying; twisting until smooth soft skin turns warm, and the coffee is so fresh it can burn his tongue and Lex's mouth is against his as he falls asleep.

\----

"Clark."

Clark looks up smiling warmly. "Hey Lex." The smell of coffee hits him, and for some reason shoots down his chest straight to his groin. Lex's lips look soft as they stretch into a smile. Clark looks down suddenly flushing and fumbles with the book in his hand. _Dream Dictionary: An A to Z Guide to Understanding Your Unconscious Mind._

Lex notes the title and sits. "Not nightmares I hope?" He slides the paperwork in his hands onto the table easily and leans back, sipping from the paper cup in his hands.

Clark shrugs. "No, not really. Just...if you're asleep it's a dream right?"

Lex smiles again and nods. "I think when you're awake it's called a daydream. Or" He shrugs with a hint of mischief in his eyes. "A fantasy. You fantasizing Clark?"

Clark watches the cup make it's way up to Lex's lips. He watches his friend swallow; watches his tongue slip out and quickly clean up any possible coffee residue.

Clark blinks and looks down at his book. "Just thinking about things."

"Ah, well that's the way to start dreaming. A mind's got to rest, Clark. Give yourself a break. If it's not unpleasant, just enjoy it. "

Clark looks up suddenly a bit defensive. "What makes you think I'm not enjoying it." He stops, feeling like he's treading water. "What makes you think there's anything to enjoy, Lex."

Lex watches him for a moment and then nods to the book. "Well, you're not just taking it as it comes. It makes me wonder." His voice goes a touch serious. " Are you sleepwalking again? Want to talk about it ? You could come over tonight, Helen's working late and the pool table's getting lonely."

Clark grins looking up enthusiastically. "Ok."

Lana passes them, circling the tables, tray in hand. She pauses to look at Clark's mostly empty cup. "Finished ?"

Clark watches the swing of her hair and follows up to her eyes, they're bright but tired. He shakes his head. "No, I'm ok."

Lana nods and moves on to the next table. Clark watches her for a long moment. When he looks up, Lex is standing. Lex taps the folder in his hand against the table. "Drop by around seven. Let your mom know you're staying for dinner. I'll have the cook make something worthy of a growing farm boy."

He nods to Clark again, then at Lana and starts to leave.

"Lex!"

Lex turns.

"Uhm, " Clark shrugs and nods to the book in his hands. "Thanks."

Lex's lips stretch again, there's a hint of tongue as he laughs and the scar just under his nose tugs, pulling his top lip up. making it look soft and suckable. "Anytime Clark."

\----

"Helen doesn't play pool ?"

There is a platter of half eaten sandwiches on Lex's desk and several bottles of soda. Clark leans across the table, concentrating on lining up his shot. Lex leans against the table looking relaxed with the sleeves of his shirt rolled up to his elbows.

"She plays. But she's not a hustler. I've got you to keep me on my toes, Clark."

Clark looks up and grins. "I'm the hustler?"

Lex laughs almost snorting in amusement. He opens his eyes wide. "I'm just a poor little farmboy who spends all his time doing chores. And is that a felt table?"

Clark makes his shot and looks up sticking his tongue out. "I wasn't like that." He moves closer to Lex and smacks him lightly with the pool cue.

One of Lex's eyebrows go up. "Hiding martial arts as well, Clark?"

Clark does snort. "Yeah Lex. I'm about to go all Matrix on you." He starts humming some of the theme music, then bumps Lex wickedly as the other man lines up for his shot.

"Hey, cheating. Pool is not a contact sport."

Clark rolls his eyes innocently and leans against his pool cue.

Lex steps closer. "Oh, is that how it's going to be."

Clark watches him move, smelling the light scent of something rich and green from Lex. He's never smelt it on anyone else, not even Lionel. Do the rich have signature scents for men, like women seem to want in all his mother's magazines?

The thought catches him a moment, and leaves him distracted for when Lex moves close to hold his arm and hip check him. Clark forgets to stumble and reaches out automatically to grab Lex when he bounces off. His eyes go up to check his friend's expression, looking for any sign of hurt.

Lex's lips catch his attention again. He can smell warm bread and the sweet soda in his mouth.

He knows what Lana feels like when she's not drowning.

Clark leans in, pressing his lips against Lex's without even thinking about it, reveling as his mind gets to make a memory of Lex alive and vibrant.

Soft, so soft, and warm, wet. Smooth skin under his finger tips, the curve of a skull and a strong firm back.

Who's drowning now?

The thought makes him pull back and he blinks, startled and alarmed at himself; at his harsh breaths , at the flush he feels over his skin and at Lex watching him.

There's a silence he never noticed before in the room. It stretches. Clark pants trying to control his breathing and struggles to find words. Any words.

"Lana almost drowned yesterday."

Lex looks back at him seeming puzzled but not angry.

"I...I realized how close I came to never knowing you." Clark looks down, eyes shy, still feeling Lex's lips against his; His new memory of warmth and life and Lex kissing back...

Clark looks up a bit stunned.

Lex smiles, watching the truth hit Clark. "I'm glad you do know me."

 

  
___________  



End file.
